Paper Dolls

I didn't like making paper dolls when I was little. I don't think I drew very well. Plus I couldn't get the clothes to fit the bodies. When I was little, I preferred my Dawn Dolls and my Fashion Flatsy's. I'd go into Mama's cupboard and I'd get out her scrap box. She let me take whatever in there that I wanted. I'd cut squares out of the prettiest fabrics. Then I cut holes in the squares for armholes, and make dresses for my dolls, and I'd put arms for holes. I cut strips to use as waistbands, and I cut out circles, with holes in the middle for my dolls to wear as hats.

I knew this wasn't real sewing. One time Mama helped me real-sew a doll's dress. It was very hard, and took a lot of sewing, and when I was done one of the arms was out inside-out. Mama sewed another one from the same pattern, which is how I knew mine wouldn't have been any good even if I had sewn it right. It wasn't really a dress, more like kind of a bathrobe, and made out of stiff, ugly pink-flowered cloth. I liked my own pretend-dresses, that were really just squares, but were long and pretty, and showed off the dolls' boobs.

Then in the Eighth Grade, I discover the History of Costume. How it happens, is that I don't have anything to read. I'm so bored that I get out some volumes of the Encyclopedia and read some of the entries. I read about Hitler. I read about World War II. They're not very good, because there's not enough detail. Then I find the entry about Costume. It's full of detail that I've never seen before, plus it's full of pictures. The medieval pictures are the best ones. They're drawings that were made for the Encyclopedia, so you can really make out all the details. When you start to get to the other historical period, they used paintings and stuff from the actual time, and it's harder to tell what the costumes looked like. So I get a pad of paper, and I start copying all the medieval costumes.

Only I'm not so good at drawing people. That's why I draw paper dolls, is so I can draw just one or two people, and then all the costumes I want to. I teach myself how to make them clothes that fit. How you do it, is you cut out your paper doll. You set it onto another sheet of paper, and you trace around it. If the doll's got boobs, you trace on top of them really hard with pencil. Then when you take the doll away, you have the outline of the body. You have the shape of the boobs for in case you're making a low-cut dress. All you have to do then is make sure your doll-costume touches the body-outline in a few places, because those are where you are going to put your tabs.

I make paper dolls to wear all the medieval costumes in the Encyclopedia. Then I make dolls wearing Gay Nineties costumes, that I learned about from watching movies like Meet Me In Saint Louis and The Harvey Girls. Then when I finish the Eighth Grade, and I am finally allowed in the Adult Section of the library, I go to the History of Costume section (390), and I find all the books with the best illustrations and I get new costume ideas out of them.

I go through and I pick out all the eras I like the best. I love the full, floaty-looking dresses and the flower-corsages of the 1850's. I also love the sharp colors and big, puffy bustles of the 1870's. I love the Empire-waisted gowns and long kid gloves of the 1800's, and the neat little chemise-dresses of the 1920's, and the big-skirted cocktail dresses of the 1950's. I make dolls from all the different eras, so I can draw all the different styles I find that I like. I give them hair like the ladies in the fashion plates in my books I read, and no underwear (but no sex-parts either), because that might spoil the shape for some of their costumes.

I give my dolls black eyelashes that I draw with fine-tipped markers, and deep-red lips that I make by licking a colored pencil to make the color darker. I teach myself to draw plaid and lace and corsages (three stylized red flowers, one green leaf, and just one stem with a couple of little leaves on it). I try different ways to draw hats and jewelry, but those are hard. I never do find a way that satisfies me.

Playing with paper dolls is really shameful for a girl my age. Mama and Daddy tell me that, but I'd know it anyway. None of the other girls I know play with dolls. The oldest any of them were when they stopped was in Sixth Grade, but mine were just getting interesting to me then. Dolls let me draw all the beautiful historic costumes that I want to. They let me make stories like the ones in the history books I read. I don't get why cutting out the people I draw and making clothes for them is more babyish than just drawing pages and pages full of different ones, but I know it is, so I hide my paper dolls in my room. I don't talk about them, or play with them, in front of my parents.

My sisters know about my dolls. They don't talk about them when Mama and Daddy are around, but sometimes they play them with me. Karen's younger, so she wants to play more often, but sometimes Robin is interested too. I make special, beautiful dolls for them, whatever kind they want, and I change the stories of my own dolls, depending how my sisters want to play with them.

Linda has a friend named Roxie who lives across the alley from us. Roxie loves my dolls, especially the funny ones. She joins us in our paper doll games, and she asks me to make special dolls for her. I make her a family of fat people who she names the Klennanbothams. I make her a big, muscle-y man who she names Mortimer Gortz, and another one who she names Weena Puweena Seena-Peena-Gardena. We have long, silly games together in my bedroom after school, and usually all the dolls end up having sex together (which means being laid face-to-face on the floor, because of course I don't put any sex-parts on my dolls).

I buy new sets of crayons when my old ones wear out. I like the ones from Kmart better than name-brand Crayolas, because the colors are stronger. Plus sometimes they're not mixed as well, so you get veins of pure color going through the lighter crayon, and it gives my pictures a variegated look. I replace my black markers a lot, and when my red colored pencils get short, I buy new ones. If I can lick them to make the color deeper, I keep them. Otherwise I throw them away. Then when I go away to college, find gold and silver colored pencils that really look realistic when you use them. I'm very happy, because before when I drew metals I had to use Crayolas, and they hardly even showed up.

Because yes, when I go away to college I take my paper dolls, and if you think I am not embarrassed about that, you're crazy. I hide the book where I keep them under my mattress. I hide the bag with my crayons and markers under my bed. I only take them out when I know for sure my roommate is going to be gone for a long time, and I always make sure to put everything away well before she's due back. I feel like I must be crazy or something, still wanting to make paper dolls when I am almost 20, but I can't help it. It's still the most fun thing I know how to do.